File 07: Daydream Kiss.
Its been a while since I decided to take a break, I couldnt continue with thoughts of moving expressions from the prophet, after a couple of hours mindlessly staring at the door from the couch, the one that leads to the adjunct room I always keep closed, like a spell, I finally get up, and still mindless, I walk directly to the door, such a serious moment yet theres no ceremony, no other habits than the casual, me, I didnt even knock on the door, it doesnt matter because all protocols are set and feelings are close.
Theres two sofas with a table in between, warm dim light, forever silence meets my own sound, it doesnt matter, I take my place sitting in front of the altar, to worship what cannot be seen nor talked.
-I was thinking about that woman, I hope I wasnt too loud, or too quiet.
Of course there was no response.
-Im still thinking, because, while I can understand the tragedy, I could never understand the curse of drugs by itself, I guess Im still too young, and mother never really taught us about it.
Silent night, falling snow.
-Maybe because the sense of smell is too strong, and any change in the blood can become too annoying.
I ended up wordless for some time, I have talked about this before, and she always responds the same way, with none, then drowsiness takes over me as well, its a pleasant feeling once youre so tired.
-The other day I was saying, “I really dont care, the answer is so simple, the value becomes zero, and so my interest, this is worthless, so quickly becoming dust dissolved in an ocean of same and distrust”, I guess you heard me, right?
She did, there is only silence here, or so I pretend it to be, and she never responds, not even once, but I do not mind, she is the only one I talk about.
-Drowsiness is not so bad, what would have really made me angry is if those nuns had put some weird experimental meds on us, or even them, it would have been war, luckily they had a bigger treasure to protect, and later, theres no point experimenting with something that is not normal, the results would be useless, I must say, were so lucky, though thats cheap thinking, the pieces fell together and a fate was created.
-Shell be fine, and she wasnt alone.
-If she didnt learn something from all of these, theres no point anymore.
-“Were even, the food was horrible though”, the more you try, the more you, well, how can you even measure it? if she didnt went away, we would be still paying attention to her.
-Ive been investigating if there is a link between both being blonde, and there was none, its something I had to check.
-Mmm, Im not that good complimenting beauty, and she will probably get bored of me very quick, I dont do much after all.
-I agree you do need a magician, she would just not be attracted to me, what can I possibly do?
-If you give the order, I will do it anyway.
-I dont like people and she does, I dont believe in things she does, she is, pretty normal in comparison to us, what would she have done in our position? cover and cry? layback and believe in a superior moral power? hold this much and just do nothing?
-Well, its not for me to decide, I should probably shut my mouth, I fall on my own line.
-But there must be one, otherwise, life would be so boring.
-I mean, there is absolutely nothing for me to be mad at her, there is no judgement, just recreated elements, the important part is where the loyalty resides, and Im pretty sure I am not listening to her.
-You would be sending me to the butcher.
-How are you supposed to kiss? you just put the lips over and then move the mouth or something? I should have paid more attention, so, troublesome.
-What would she be looking at? I dont particularly, smile.
-Lets stop this, alright? dont be so, desperate, but if its an order, have you really decide?
-Daydream I want to see, a tear following a thrill, I can remember real life with just the two of us, light that, back when we first met, turned lost into a love.
-Dream my dream, ah?
-He saw the perfect jewel to enlighten the environment, and as a machine, it thought of the range of possibilities, for his purpose to be fulfilled.
Am I the guardian of the machine? then I failed to be complete, and I could cause the destruction, of everything beloved to see.
Am I the guardian of myself? an updated plan to carry the instructions against the hatred else, including herself, and the acid tone of her normal voice, for all the magic then is gone.
Yet I never leave this place, besides my dormant self, any second can there be movement, and every second takes forever, as it never happens and all other elements are of no use, I have tried more than I can count, nobody but you, and whatever you do with your expression, Im unable to understand along the years, no matter how much I look into it, how can you do it? no matter what I say, she never responds, yet you come from so far away, youre not even there, and all attention follows you, I can see it on her face.
Dream my dream, so selfish out of me, your smile shines in the sky, my stern mouth cold and dry, maybe if you touch her face, could you say “Im sorry” for her, Im sure would be the same, as she could never blame nor hate, then we play of fun game of pretend, a shadow meets an angel, in a banquet of diet soda and stolen pieces of bread.