File 08: Chirping Sound.
But she never comes, she never comes close, and why would she? sinful union of, umfff, why even bother? I am so tired, maybe I should let all elements run as I float on the center, not that I dont care, is just, tiresome, makes me feel so sick, yet the goddess cannot give up on life, she is so stubborn about, maybe because she just can, and thats it, theres not much purpose, nor agenda, theres so, so little to look forward than the sense of adventurous optimism, same that comes from living in the shadows of all there is, I dont like to admit, that going to the light, is an endless path of war.
Anyhow, dreaming is certainly a good way to let time pass, and the snowstorm seems to finally calm, such strange feeling after a thousand years of same, though if you think too hard, this is not that different.
-Those depression crisis were really something, I find it even amusing, and she is actually breaking the mold, I guess thats why that other you, isnt she? and I thought it was so naive, playing those games.
-I suppose I should have seen it happen, its been so, so long, across so many dimensions, yet its difficult to understand, I get it with the idea of me, but you? youre still here, forever silent in front of me.
-Are you having a dream too? As always, you did it better than me.
-So if this is your dream, is this now the order? I shall follow then, at least I dont have to kiss anybody.
In the flow of my lonely conversation, I quickly get up and fix my clothes, a last sight at her yet not another word, I turn towards the door, walk through and close it again.
“Dont get lost” did she say?
The heavy snowstorm has really gone now, still some falling from wherever it was hanging, and I can finally distinguish through the window, other elements out there, maybe like me, to inhabit an abandoned world, and I do something I havent done in a thousand years, I open the outside door, to get blew by such chill wind, this is the moment you go back inside and never look back, I step out and close the door behind again, blurry vision of all there is, lights slowly coming together in one image, is this a forest? I thought it was the city all along, maybe Im not that far.
Theres nothing out of the ordinary, but I start hearing noises, then I see this child running on some flower bed, trying to catch a butterfly with bare hands, and its getting, a little annoying, maybe I should come close, or maybe I should be like her and dont, be what I hate, scripted image on the grey.
-And so in the end, you will end up alone.
-Interested in anything?
-The snow stops falling and everyone comes out to play, or hunt for food, or to look for a partner, which one are you?
-Partner? is that your approach?
-I dont worry myself about it, after all, I have witnessed your perverted sights over that one, or is it hunting, perhaps?
-I was questioning myself about the fool, Ive seen for a while, what is that child doing running around like that?
-Just playing, do you mind?
-You are right, if you plan to ignore it.
-Youre in for a rough awakening, if you come close like that.
-I can take care of myself.
-That thing can bite really hard, among other things, lets keep it at that, biting sounds more of a child.
-I have my own skills, anything else?
-If you were to have a kid.
-But its nothing like that.
-Not the parental type? how about a teacher? sure she knows, seen or heard about one.
-I guess its worth to try, being a parent is a fashion out of my sight.
-Fashion? hehe, Ill take my leave then, just one more thing, its a big forest, dont get lost.
And just like that I move forward, slowly, as I realize that was the first conversation I have had in such a long, long time, the animals in the forest come out to play, or, what else did she say?
-Hey, are you ok?
The child kept running completely ignoring my presence.
-I was passing by, you see, Im a teacher at the old school in town, but I was, tired, of it all, so I keep telling my students to do whatever they like, while I escape here to take a walk and pass time.
It seems to have worked, she stopped running after the butterfly, turned and came firmly walking towards me.
-Mmm, what are you doing?
-Im smelling you.
-No, I mean.
-I guess its alright.
-What are you doing out here?
-Which consist in? is not a secret, isnt it? not that I would tell, I dont really have anyone to conversate with.
-I had a duck in the bathtub, but not anymore, and theres a duck here at the lake.
-So I take the duck from the lake, and put it in my bathtub again.
-But, thats a butterf, mmm.