How can anybody not notice?
Or maybe they just dont care, enough
Whats there for them anyway?
Ancient ruins and technology
Only the origin seems to understand
For I, sleep with you.
File 01: Detective.
The calendar states once again in its daily exercise, that time never stops, no matter how slow you make it actually roll, it goes ahead anyway, but funny thing, I stopped paying attention to it and now it marks the wrong day.
Too much work, theres never enough time, a stay over the office loses its purpose once you get too drowsy, and fantasies emerge in a spiral of dark water, through the abstract mind and fixed eyes, such adventure to be had, its like tomorrow shall never come.
Folders pile up the desk, with time they seem to duplicate, like paper being alive and reproducing, even when forgotten and left behind, for some other more interesting case to look at, it was just a matter, of a proper sight.
Folder named “Detective”, the most obvious and straightforward, whats the motive and setting? and Im already twisting my eyeballs to see elsewhere, I have found that, the stronger drive ahead pushes the need to ask those questions towards the elements circling the environment, yet I cannot ignore, but also laugh in relief, its has been, a long, long while, especially for me, to reach this form and status, to be up in the middle of the cold silent night, better said, to have awoken earlier, gives me time to work, and to secretly laugh at my own questions.
Theres plenty other to investigate anyway, so many shapes of the same thing, this is certainly a stronger one, for I have seen weaker, more desperate ones, you would think this is not, for it doesnt move as much, such optical illusion, so easy to fall into a cliff, but I should not talk that way, it leads to the questions Im not answering right now, so Im gonna focus on you, a machine always on, and you, forgetting about me, theres no need, to think about me, for now, Im pretty confident, I guess I have changed, but not as much as everything else, its probably just, what happens as you go on, for so long.
I could say that I am investigating this out of my own interest, not because of a position of advantage, at the end all eyes laid on the same, corpse, but not all could remember when he was alive, and why would they? its been a long, long time, can you really hide forever? he wasnt even that strong, was more like, explosive, such drive pushing ahead, not enough room to go deep into questions, cause some things dont really change, I could call him cousin but thats, very troublesome, maybe I was reborn into a worm, or probably things are just common, in a lake of same, a crystal mirage as I laugh again, in the loneliness of the office, snow falls outside, and maybe I have grown old, to be here instead of out there, I must have lost along the way, the will to belong there.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 02
File 02: Vanish.
Its been said that a simple spin of the body can create the most, transforming consequences, that if you only care about the traveler, for those environments of the past are not quite destroyed when left behind, and by the time the twist stops, also a new configuration sets dry a couple of seconds later, you can actually see how it arranges, the mixed fluids, you can even with a sharp sight, pay attention to its distinctive colors.
There may still be a chance, a short span to return while it remains as a fluid, another spin in the opposite direction can recompose the elements to their past state, though thats just speculation, you never know what had changed after such actions, the mold is not that firm so the fluid is free to settle on its own, and it will follow its nature.
Me? I dont have that much to say, Im just a quiet mind, with a heart overflowing, each and everyday.
The utility of that structure leads the traveler to move very fast and far, also motivates to do such, unless at some moment and by any reason, spinning becomes a forbidden practice of self, the color fluids solidify into objects and empty space, to a luck of becoming stale.
The experienced traveler, with the tools to adapt and create in different environments, faces an apparent final trial for survival, and once solved, can also join the colors, realizing the countless transformations were an unmeasurable force that had gone through the skin, and its time for the blood to clot, covering the injury with a make believe symmetry of thought, when the deals in the heart are completely one sided.
Theres to notice the strength of the traveler, who doesnt leave even if doesnt like, and always stands firm at the presence of each dimension.
Me? whatever idea of romance that created a drive, for she knows the elements that moves that smile, deep and mischievous, the one she holds and reflects to the sky, snow windy night, from a shadow hunting time, I must say, in all odd and stale, such honor, Im so much happier, this way.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 03
File 03: Cruel Machine.
In the young days there were two kids, one quiet and reserved, with a stern look on his face, cold and lonely, with an aura that imbues fear and repeals, while the other went along the flow more easily, with no particular description that I can think of.
Then the time of trial became present, along with the hush of individualism for the collective emotion of emergency, for the trial decides, something, and at the end of the day, the silent kid went over without taking any precaution, and that concerned the people around him, for him to be so strange, yet so resourceful to avoid the path and conquer the goal anyway.
It turned out he was cheating, everybody knew it, even himself, the problem was that nobody else knew exactly how, as he was under surveillance the whole ceremony, who could have possibly told him? what influence made him react in the form he did? his family environment was investigated, and he didnt seem to enjoy someones company, there was no sense of admiration, no idea of attachment, he was, so lonely, instead of a line there was a force with an expression that remained against the odds, in the pity range of his own self.
But revenge eventually came for the crowd, for in one trial, he, in the middle of all his boredom, got excited about a numbers device, and the overuse mislead the way, causing him to fail, exposing his humanity, his, weakness.
The other kid one day got a girlfriend, or what appeared to be the beginning of so. Wouldnt be romantic, to spend some time like that? a walk around in the colors of the evening, the opposite of what was seen everyday while being at the same place, theres trees and large spaces, most of the people gone, and the wind is pleasant, are you, arent you fun?
With such emotion from him, above the grey bite that chews everyday, his voice is a sound that shakes the dim filter of pollution, it makes you believe that you can actually overcome, in a promenade of desire and lust.
It turned out, he was cheating too, but she never knew how, and she was there all the time, actually paying attention, so, when did it happen? the most obvious and simple explanations felt short, the complicated ones were a tone of ridiculous, anyhow she decided to settle with one, whatever was fine as long as you can forget about the mystery that rejected you, it hurt to think not only about some other value more important than her, but also about the illusion to overcome, and it was probably not worth it, wasnt for her anyway.
Thinking that its right and its proper, how can he do what needs to be done? how can you tell a good one from the bad?
What once was a tearful reality to break, then it became a grey distortion to immerse, a fall from the wind, the last chance before closing the eyes.
If I say that I love you, youre so foolish to believe, in a force created to shape the environment, and you as an element of it, so dumb out of you, not to realize, the curse has reached you too, slumber until you leave, or be pushed away by it.
Me? I have no words to say, youd think I would have by now, with all my abilities and strength I could easily overcome, but, the snowstorm, still outside, the environment is shaping my mood and the impulse to act is gone, I guess, I suppose the machine couldnt serve its purpose after all, was probably too big to ask of it, and the designs, the scraps it was made of, yet I always thought it was funny to watch it running, this whole thing, and the snow, is the real game really over now? I have found out, Im very used to it, and the fussy sight of cloudy night, and the silent expression of a timeless pride, and my heart to fill with water, everyday.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 04
File 04: Dawn of the Second Day.
Does the planet spin on its own? that would explain a lot, and it must be from right to left, just as the vortex activates, if you dance with it you can contemplate how the elements realign, ungrateful of the past, all of those that once seemed to be set no matter the force against, now quickly move to a new tame, a secret prank to laugh about, who could notice after dark?
If you step, just one, behind, then you can see the white light, a reset of any emotion had, it all comes to an end by the last breath of the day, even with restrain about the turn in self actions, the change must come to finish it all, such a short travel to enjoy, or despise, but enough of that, it will change anyway after dawn.
File 05: Entwined Ice
The great play of domestication and satisfaction had started for a while, in all glamour of hype and rags, it develops until a certain point where the player feels frustrated about own emotions not being presented in the game, stubborn as is, changes the story and takes part in it, the extense of the tear depends on the response of the environment and the delight of the protagonist for the immersion, holding the liquid nectar of life on the hands, pouring through the fingers, the machine wasnt designed to understand, only to provide against the script of idiocy and contempt, yet the theatre always remain, for a play is all to be there.
He hated it, he hated it all along, not even the most lucky and fulfilling created events could change the judgement everpresent, forgetting the chemicals in the air, pretending to ignore the pollution in the water, and running out of teenage tantrums to justify the normality of the acts against the flow.
The machine followed the guidelines anyhow, created bubbles in the depths of the ocean a thousand times, with a dim light and a sound barrier around, it was forbidden to merge with even the most simple spoken curses the common people used to express their pitiful selves, until a point when the language became strange and others couldnt understand.
She hated it, she hated it all along, and with a swift cut, off the links from fairy tales, about youthful ambition lacking of deep sense, for all there was, lust as a drug to embrace, a trance, of the only life to be had.
And the machine became obsolete over the long years, the designs never updated, for the project had nothing to look forward in the eyes of the creator, and me, I, cannot make the decision, basically for the same reason, I am a spirit of the goddess, if I was to descend and be stray, there is no point for me to pretend, but I would be locked in the same way, once the fury becomes stale, theres nothing for the goddess to be awake.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 05
File 06: The Darkest Dimension.
A simple comparison should be enough to distinguish the details, and how large the collective effort to maintain normality extends, almost like a sentence for the obvious, this is a real life to be lived, one that contains in a bottle the mystery of the dubious past, a dark shadow covers the harsh engines of the machine, and also the particular humor of the goddess, along with a shelter from the snow.
But the sunrays not always enlighted in this color, out of the sight of those who live after the night, across configurations once upon a time the theater was set to a country sight of the semidesertic kind.
Purple flash of my own love, tell my of my eyes
For I dont, feel much about her, I never really did
And it was declared, from all high heavens above
Nothing was worse than eating her food
So, why did the goddess decide?
For you to be a prophet and a star.
Its an emotion of attachment, the goddess had stated the companion must be guarded, and the tragedy path met a new element that created a different story, for both sides of the mirror.
The creation of the machine was a further plan down the line, may even be a consequence of the events that occurred during the time with our companion, and the string she carried to the promised land.
Her life of suffering lead to a great lust
For the shiny forbidden treasure of a thousand sins
The one that mends all canyons and traces of dead land
A key to fervent obedience from the disciples of the environment
The tools to build a kingdom plated in gold
And all their tricks to steal it from you
Teenage feelings of confusion and despair, over the so simple to overcome, yet for the will is all a vice to embrace, creating twisted paths to reach the desired emotion, expressions of loud self disdain, a war against the else, the pleasure from a burst of pride, burning all there is not being mine.
Time will never stop, and so the excuses of a troubled youth became obsolete, and more desperate measures were required.
Now she wont listen anymore, in this collective regression for the nostalgia of a hundred years ago, it was to be checked, that the first blessing of the goddess was the one of violence, which broke her curse of marriage and broken promises, she often believed of her inability to reproduce as the cause of a deep abyss, in outside sight was obvious she would be creating just another one, for the goddess to cut in half.
But when divine left to the high skies, she was left to embrace her human flesh and kind, the taste of her own blood was disgusting, so she mixed it with different herbs she found along plantations without grains, for her, all she was, just a servant of the earth, which in exchange granted her a few wishes, the tools of power, the script of time, and the veil over emptiness.
Didnt I say? She is not talking anymore
The only things I know are the ones that I see
So the goddess demanded an answer
And through force that easily destroyed all barriers
Hiding all her weakness and bitter sense
She was found, staring into space
Dont you know I took the poison?
From the desert dry stream
Theres a reason for me to live
Then I floated, out of here
The goddess laughed at her pitiful state, she did so much that started to mock, then bully, and finally with a direct strike to her face, the goddess declared a second blessing to be had.
You really wanted a son, didnt you?
Theres no other point for repeating all of these
You already told me that story
That now I will make it to change
For youve been blessed ever since you met a new fate
Near the peak of your death sprout a new timeline
Because of the treasure you hold inside
Youve been a visitor of the holy land
Youve read the scriptures of the light
I grant you the power of divine
You shall have what was lost in time
In the pursuit of another chance
For you, and I.
And so the storyline changed again by the mischievous spirits that surrounded those ranches, they did not wanted the same show, of a peasant soul covered in mud, so the son must be anew, with a driving force to rip it all, waves of regret, hopes of joy, from the brim of her dreams and pale of her sorrows, the son will create a new world.
Yes, the son will make you rich
Acceptance by ceremony of fluids
Submit your body and dignity at once
On your knees to a child
Do it and pledge obedience to this feeling
Youre his mother, and the pleasure to commit
Divine kissed your lips and broke your torn heart
Godly touch ticklish on your skin and mind
In your own ancient bed you became trapped
Oh, such a good time
You must be taken before the poison does
You must be stripped before the dawn becomes
Another day to be astray
Ill make you so selfish
Ill make your pain turn to lust
Your life of suffering is mine
The treasure will be yours, and the illusion of you
But the poison had already killed, it called for more death inside the veins, cold sweat and empty hands, desperation became a hole, where the keeper of the treasure could look into the dangers, yet could not see the divine, and lost the battle against the high heavens, along with his life.
She happen to have witnessed the conflict and resolution, for she could see whats invisible to man, she saw the trident fall from the sky, cutting the wind in and out, the keeper was defeated and the treasure was free to take, a promise had been kept, to the blessed dying woman, torn apart between the soil and clouds.
The ceremony of the new queens crowning had started, in the glamour of red and dire, the earth claimed what was theirs, the heavens did the same.
And finally the goddess declared
Emerging from the shadows covering the hall
It was all my will and power
Dont you know she took the poison?
From the desert dry stream
Theres a reason for her to die
Then she floated, out of here
And the earth became dirt, and the heavens empowered the wind to travel far, as the goddess declared all acts left in the trail, of the unforgivable kind.
And a thousand thunder strikes hid in the shadows and dark
Stormed the nights of flying metal scraps
Nurse the soil in such red sacrifice
It has been declared
Unforgivable, the goddess of cold and harm
Cursed the remaining ruins of the land
Destruction turn life into a ghost
Of those who either died or walked
Purple flash of my own love, tell me of my heart
For she was the last link of the most lovely shine
Dont pretend you can, dont you leave
Dont you leave outside of me
Goddess screamed across the travels
Countless roads of sea and sand.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 06
File 07: Daydream Kiss.
Its been a while since I decided to take a break, I couldnt continue with thoughts of moving expressions from the prophet, after a couple of hours mindlessly staring at the door from the couch, the one that leads to the adjunct room I always keep closed, like a spell, I finally get up, and still mindless, I walk directly to the door, such a serious moment yet theres no ceremony, no other habits than the casual, me, I didnt even knock on the door, it doesnt matter because all protocols are set and feelings are close.
Theres two sofas with a table in between, warm dim light, forever silence meets my own sound, it doesnt matter, I take my place sitting in front of the altar, to worship what cannot be seen nor talked.
-I was thinking about that woman, I hope I wasnt too loud, or too quiet.
Of course there was no response.
-Im still thinking, because, while I can understand the tragedy, I could never understand the curse of drugs by itself, I guess Im still too young, and mother never really taught us about it.
Silent night, falling snow.
-Maybe because the sense of smell is too strong, and any change in the blood can become too annoying.
I ended up wordless for some time, I have talked about this before, and she always responds the same way, with none, then drowsiness takes over me as well, its a pleasant feeling once youre so tired.
-The other day I was saying, “I really dont care, the answer is so simple, the value becomes zero, and so my interest, this is worthless, so quickly becoming dust dissolved in an ocean of same and distrust”, I guess you heard me, right?
She did, there is only silence here, or so I pretend it to be, and she never responds, not even once, but I do not mind, she is the only one I talk about.
-Drowsiness is not so bad, what would have really made me angry is if those nuns had put some weird experimental meds on us, or even them, it would have been war, luckily they had a bigger treasure to protect, and later, theres no point experimenting with something that is not normal, the results would be useless, I must say, were so lucky, though thats cheap thinking, the pieces fell together and a fate was created.
-Shell be fine, and she wasnt alone.
-If she didnt learn something from all of these, theres no point anymore.
-“Were even, the food was horrible though”, the more you try, the more you, well, how can you even measure it? if she didnt went away, we would be still paying attention to her.
-Ive been investigating if there is a link between both being blonde, and there was none, its something I had to check.
-Mmm, Im not that good complimenting beauty, and she will probably get bored of me very quick, I dont do much after all.
-I agree you do need a magician, she would just not be attracted to me, what can I possibly do?
-If you give the order, I will do it anyway.
-I dont like people and she does, I dont believe in things she does, she is, pretty normal in comparison to us, what would she have done in our position? cover and cry? layback and believe in a superior moral power? hold this much and just do nothing?
-Well, its not for me to decide, I should probably shut my mouth, I fall on my own line.
-But there must be one, otherwise, life would be so boring.
-I mean, there is absolutely nothing for me to be mad at her, there is no judgement, just recreated elements, the important part is where the loyalty resides, and Im pretty sure I am not listening to her.
-You would be sending me to the butcher.
-How are you supposed to kiss? you just put the lips over and then move the mouth or something? I should have paid more attention, so, troublesome.
-What would she be looking at? I dont particularly, smile.
-Lets stop this, alright? dont be so, desperate, but if its an order, have you really decide?
-Daydream I want to see, a tear following a thrill, I can remember real life with just the two of us, light that, back when we first met, turned lost into a love.
-Dream my dream, ah?
-He saw the perfect jewel to enlighten the environment, and as a machine, it thought of the range of possibilities, for his purpose to be fulfilled.
Am I the guardian of the machine? then I failed to be complete, and I could cause the destruction, of everything beloved to see.
Am I the guardian of myself? an updated plan to carry the instructions against the hatred else, including herself, and the acid tone of her normal voice, for all the magic then is gone.
Yet I never leave this place, besides my dormant self, any second can there be movement, and every second takes forever, as it never happens and all other elements are of no use, I have tried more than I can count, nobody but you, and whatever you do with your expression, Im unable to understand along the years, no matter how much I look into it, how can you do it? no matter what I say, she never responds, yet you come from so far away, youre not even there, and all attention follows you, I can see it on her face.
Dream my dream, so selfish out of me, your smile shines in the sky, my stern mouth cold and dry, maybe if you touch her face, could you say “Im sorry” for her, Im sure would be the same, as she could never blame nor hate, then we play of fun game of pretend, a shadow meets an angel, in a banquet of diet soda and stolen pieces of bread.
The Puzzle of a Lost Girl ch 07
File 08: Chirping Sound.
But she never comes, she never comes close, and why would she? sinful union of, umfff, why even bother? I am so tired, maybe I should let all elements run as I float on the center, not that I dont care, is just, tiresome, makes me feel so sick, yet the goddess cannot give up on life, she is so stubborn about, maybe because she just can, and thats it, theres not much purpose, nor agenda, theres so, so little to look forward than the sense of adventurous optimism, same that comes from living in the shadows of all there is, I dont like to admit, that going to the light, is an endless path of war.
Anyhow, dreaming is certainly a good way to let time pass, and the snowstorm seems to finally calm, such strange feeling after a thousand years of same, though if you think too hard, this is not that different.
-Those depression crisis were really something, I find it even amusing, and she is actually breaking the mold, I guess thats why that other you, isnt she? and I thought it was so naive, playing those games.
-I suppose I should have seen it happen, its been so, so long, across so many dimensions, yet its difficult to understand, I get it with the idea of me, but you? youre still here, forever silent in front of me.
-Are you having a dream too? As always, you did it better than me.
-So if this is your dream, is this now the order? I shall follow then, at least I dont have to kiss anybody.
In the flow of my lonely conversation, I quickly get up and fix my clothes, a last sight at her yet not another word, I turn towards the door, walk through and close it again.
“Dont get lost” did she say?
The heavy snowstorm has really gone now, still some falling from wherever it was hanging, and I can finally distinguish through the window, other elements out there, maybe like me, to inhabit an abandoned world, and I do something I havent done in a thousand years, I open the outside door, to get blew by such chill wind, this is the moment you go back inside and never look back, I step out and close the door behind again, blurry vision of all there is, lights slowly coming together in one image, is this a forest? I thought it was the city all along, maybe Im not that far.
Theres nothing out of the ordinary, but I start hearing noises, then I see this child running on some flower bed, trying to catch a butterfly with bare hands, and its getting, a little annoying, maybe I should come close, or maybe I should be like her and dont, be what I hate, scripted image on the grey.
-And so in the end, you will end up alone.
-Interested in anything?
-The snow stops falling and everyone comes out to play, or hunt for food, or to look for a partner, which one are you?
-Partner? is that your approach?
-I dont worry myself about it, after all, I have witnessed your perverted sights over that one, or is it hunting, perhaps?
-I was questioning myself about the fool, Ive seen for a while, what is that child doing running around like that?
-Just playing, do you mind?
-You are right, if you plan to ignore it.
-Youre in for a rough awakening, if you come close like that.
-I can take care of myself.
-That thing can bite really hard, among other things, lets keep it at that, biting sounds more of a child.
-I have my own skills, anything else?
-If you were to have a kid.
-But its nothing like that.
-Not the parental type? how about a teacher? sure she knows, seen or heard about one.
-I guess its worth to try, being a parent is a fashion out of my sight.
-Fashion? hehe, Ill take my leave then, just one more thing, its a big forest, dont get lost.
And just like that I move forward, slowly, as I realize that was the first conversation I have had in such a long, long time, the animals in the forest come out to play, or, what else did she say?
-Hey, are you ok?
The child kept running completely ignoring my presence.
-I was passing by, you see, Im a teacher at the old school in town, but I was, tired, of it all, so I keep telling my students to do whatever they like, while I escape here to take a walk and pass time.
It seems to have worked, she stopped running after the butterfly, turned and came firmly walking towards me.
-Mmm, what are you doing?
-Im smelling you.
-No, I mean.
-I guess its alright.
-What are you doing out here?
-Which consist in? is not a secret, isnt it? not that I would tell, I dont really have anyone to conversate with.
-I had a duck in the bathtub, but not anymore, and theres a duck here at the lake.
-So I take the duck from the lake, and put it in my bathtub again.
-But, thats a butterf, mmm.